Top 10 Tips on Running Errands (with a baby)

posted by Caroline Gordon-Elliott on

On The Brady Bunch, Carol never had to do anything without help.  Alice did the shopping with her, cooked dinner with her, and made herself the butt of a lot of the jokes (supposedly so Carol never looked dumb).  In the real world, you’re probably going to do most of these things on your own (though hopefully with help from hubby?)  The cupboards may be stocked with goodies, the pantry may be filled with treats, but it seems like there are always errands to be run.  And guess what?  You don’t have to do them alone.  Now you get to do them with a heavy, irritable, impatient infant.  Here are 10 survival techniques to get you through what used to be an easy trip to the supermarket:

1. Feed your little one before leaving the house.  An obvious one, we’re sure, but an easy-to-forget-until-the-last-minute detail.
2. Have a checklist of baby traveling needs (i.e. pacifier, diapers, etc).  This list will either be mental or physical, depending on your propensity for anal-retentive behavior.
3. If driving, pack stroller and/or hammock, satchel, papoose, or other means of transport.  If walking, put baby in one of the aforementioned devices.
4. Don’t forget the diapers and wipes.  Again, don’t forget diapers and wipes.  A yucky tushy will cause a very yucky outing.  (Oh, and don’t forget the diapers and wipes!)
5. Pack an extra ensemble (no, not for you) for the peeing, pooping, spitting up, and drooling tot.
6. Have your shopping list, itinerary, and traveling route prepared.  You don’t want this taking any longer than it needs to.  Plus your baby brain hasn’t been remembering things too well recently, now has it?
7. Have your distraction device handy – toy, music-maker, white noise machine, etc. You can only “Shhhh” so much into the car seat behind you, before accidentally running over someone’s Dachshund (a guilt-ridden and costly mistake).
8. Bring your hands-free device.  If baby sleeps through any of this trip, it may be your one chance to catch up with a friend all day.
9. Make your first stop one through the drive-thru Starbucks.  A venti beverage of your choice will certainly put a little kick in your step (unless, of course, you’re refraining from caffeine while nursing, in which case, get something huge and herbal)
10. Meditate.  Before leaving the house, don’t forget to meditate.  This will not be a walk in the park (no matter how many times you’ve thought that “this time it will be different!”)

Life After Miscarriage: Time for an intervention

posted by Emily Wilkins on

“We need to get you pregnant.” That’s how my doctor opened our last appointment. She knocked on the door, sat down across from the examining table, put her hands on her knees, leaned forward and said “I can help with that.”

So there I was, sitting with a paper gown around my naked lower half and thinking, ‘Woah. What just happened here?’

Yes, I do want to get pregnant…but how about a little “Hi, how are you? How have you been sleeping? How are your emotions?” My desire for emotional coddling was quickly overridden by the straight-forward approach though. After all, the whole reason I was at the doctor, was to find out what’s going on with my body and to figure out how to correct it as quickly as possible.

After recapping every blow-by-heartbreaking blow, including the fact that I was now on cycle day 44 with no sign of what I’m now calling ‘the second coming,’ the doctor and I agreed that there were at least a few things we could do right away.

First item on the agenda: blood work. “I’m going to test your thyroid function and your prolactin — both hormones can interfere with your body enough to stop menstruation.”

Second: Prometrium, a progesterone pill. “You’re going to take two a day for 10 days. Then you’ll get your period.”

Third: Cycle Day 21 blood work. “Come back on day 21 of your cycle. We’re going to test your progesterone to see if you’re ovulating.”

“And if I’m not ovulating?” I asked.  “I can give you something to help with that as long as you’re OK with a slightly increased risk of having twins,” she replied with a smile on her face.

So that’s the action plan. I’m still waiting on results of the initial blood work (much like I’m still waiting on my second post-miscarriage period) but I did pick up my prescription for the progesterone supplement. I don’t know when I’m going to start taking it though. I’m going overseas for the next week and I don’t want to be on hormone pills while I’m in a different country. The last thing I need now is to find myself hospitalized while traveling. No–that wouldn’t be good. So I think I’ll wait until I return. What’s one more week in the grand scheme of things?

Sex After Baby

posted by Caroline Gordon-Elliott on

Vaginal or c-section, sex after a baby will be different.  The doctor won’t let you have sex for 6-8 weeks after your baby’s birth, so you don’t have to think about it immediately anyway.  But when you do, it may be easier (or more difficult) than you imagined.

Your physical discomfort from your vaginal delivery may make it hurt for some time.  The achy-ness of your c-section incision may also be a physical hindrance.  What else?  Your boobs used to be just for fun – now they have a (very un-sexual) job.  Your baby is sleeping in the crib right next to you.  Your baby is crying in the crib right next to you.  When your partner talks dirty and says, “I want to *&^% you on the beach”, you think, “But who will take care of the baby??”  You may also have left over consequences of having a baby, like your hemorrhoids, vaginal discharge, and your hair is falling out.  These things make you feel terribly un-sexy.

And you’re so tired!  You’re so tired that the last thing you want to do is slip into sexy lingerie (like your husband asked you to) and act like you’re young and frisky again.   You may just have to go easy on yourself.  Maybe you won’t have sex for another month.  Or another month after that!  This won’t mean that your relationship has fallen in the pooper.  It means that you have other priorities (but you still love one another) and you’re tired (but you still love one another) and you’re thinking about the baby (but you still love one another) and you just want to go to bed.

And if you want to take a whack at it, remember these important things:

1. Lube
2. Patience
3. Don’t wake the baby

Am I in Labor?

posted by Caroline Gordon-Elliott on

How will you know you’re in labor?  Much like life, labor isn’t usually what it looks like in the movies.  You already have plenty on you mind, and now you have to wait around, often beginning a whole two weeks before your due date, wondering, “Am I in labor??”

Here are things that may happen leading up to you going into labor:

• Dilation (opening of the cervix)
• Effacement (ripening of the cervix)
• Bloody show (loss of mucous plug)
• Nesting (suddenly wanting to paint the nursery)
• You water breaks (rupture of membranes)
• Contractions

In the movies, a woman will be walking through a department store, when suddenly a gallon of water falls from somewhere up her skirt, and onto the floor.  This is certainly not common.  For most of us boring folk, we first noticed we were in labor when we had contractions.  The confusing thing is, though, that you’ve probably been having contractions on and off for a while, so how do you know this is it?  Here are questions you can ask yourself:

• Are the contractions regular?
• Do they start to last longer, get stronger and closer together?
• Does walking make them stronger?
• Do they continue, despite moving or changing positions?
• Did they start in the lower back and move to the front of your abdomen?

If you answered yes, then you’re in labor, friend.  If you answered no, then go take a walk through a department store and see if you can make a splash.

Life After Miscarriage: One Step Forward and Two Steps Back

posted by Emily Wilkins on

For as many steps as I’ve taken toward moving on, there are still days where I feel like I’m caught in quicksand.

No matter how much I work, or how many weekend trips I plan, or how many runs I do in the morning, no matter how much I fill my day planner, I cannot escape the miscarriage. I’ve tried my best to fill my life with work, and friends, and church, and books, and magazines, and exercise. I’ve tried not to leave any room for grief. But somehow, it keeps finding its way in.

If I’m quiet for one moment, I slip into a daydream where I imagine myself six months pregnant or decorating a nursery.  I catch myself imagining my husband rolling over in the morning and kissing my big belly, whispering to our son or daughter.

I fall into pockets of sadness in the mundane moments of my life – just today, in the simplest act of wiping down the sink after rinsing dishes.  I had to turn away from my husband because I didn’t want him to see the tears in my eyes.  I know he could sense something was wrong but there’s nothing I can say that will help him, or anyone understand.

Taking care of baby’s skin

posted by Erin Turnley on

It is true, there is nothing more sweet smelling than that of your baby’s soft skin.  It’s almost edible!  Doesn’t it seem crazy, then, that the baby-care industry topped $815 million dollars in 2007 and is continuing to climb at an aggressive rate?  Speeding this sector right along is the trend towards “natural baby care,” which began in the more natural and co-op type markets but has quickly come mainstream with major manufacturers joining in (think Huggies, Johnson & Johnson, etc.) 

Last year, independent testing found that more than 60% of all baby skin care products tested contained ingredients that had links to skin allergies and cancer.  According to the group that conducted the research, the Environmental Working Group, some of the chemicals are banned in Europe, such as 1,4-Dioxane.  However, the U.S. has no federal limits on how much of this ingredient can be present in personal care products, even when marketed for use on babies!

There is some good news.  According to pediatrician Alan Greene, M.D., author of Raising Baby Green, you can skip products all together during your baby’s infant stage.  ” A gentle sponsge bath with warm water works fine for baby’s sensitive skin.”  When your baby is ready to graduate into baths that require a little bit more “cleaning” or “elbow grease,” there is hope.  Following his advice, look for brands that have organic ingredients.  A rule of thumb is that anything you can’t pronounce probably shouldn’t go on your baby’s skin.  Another couple of ingredients to avoid are paraben preservatives which include sodium lauryl and laureth sulfates and lastly, mineral oil.    Lastly, babies sense of smell is ultra sensitive at birth, partly because they are programmed to decipher the familiar scents of mom, dad and siblings; so skip the fragrance!

Is Fido’s flea collar safe?

posted by Erin Turnley on

According to a California study, nearly half of all pregnant women live with pets.  In of itself, having furry loved ones around is not a problem, but what about the use of flea treatments or flea collars?  Of course you can find lots of information regarding feline’s litter boxes and pregnancy, but very little has been made known about whether or not Fido’s flea collar poses a problem.

The best route is to inform your OB/GYN if you are using a specific flea control product so you can be advised as to the specifics of their safety.  Even better is to eliminate the flea products that are potentially categorized in the “high toxic” category in  favor of treatments that contain “boric acid.”  This pesticide is about as harmful as table salt, according to the Environmental Protection Agency.  What makes boric acid even more attractive is that these types can be sprinkled onto carpets and other textile surfaces.  The ingredient works to dehydrate the annoying bouncy pests and their eggs, leaving Fido and you pest-free and healthy!

The Scoop on C-Sections

posted by Caroline Gordon-Elliott on

Some women opt to have a cesarean weeks in advance, and some have a surprise one at the last minute.  There are many different reasons to have a c-section, including: convenience; wedged in baby; backwards baby; upside down baby; previous c-section; and baby in distress.  Many women get a complex about having a c-section; like their baby’s birth doesn’t count as much as another woman’s, or that other people tell her how “lucky” she is to have had her baby that way.  But the truth is that c-sections aren’t cheating, and there’s nothing “lucky” about them.

My optometrist planned her daughter’s birth.  Tanya works hard at her job, and she doesn’t have the time to wait around on maternity leave for a possibly late delivery.  She scheduled a c-section to happen right around Evelyn’s due date.  She worked until Friday, took the weekend off to finalize the nursery and get her bills paid, etc., and went in at 9am Monday to have Evelyn.  Some women opt to have c-sections for medical reasons.  Sometimes the baby is exceptionally big, and the doctor will tell the mother she should schedule a c-section before the baby gets too big to squeeze out.  Occasionally, a woman has physical problems, like scoliosis, that may cause a doctor to encourage a non-vaginal birth as well.  The rest of the c-sections, for the most part, happen on the fly.

No matter why you have a c-section, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re a real mother, who had a real birth of a real baby.  And as for you “cheating”?  The recovery for the mother is usually more difficult for a c-section than a vaginal delivery.  You’ve had major surgery – you’re gonna be a slow walker for a while.

Here’s how a c-section might go for you:

• Anesthesia.  This will completely numb you from the middle of your back and down.  You will be totally awake for the surgery.
• Operation.  Once you’re all numbed up in the operating room, the doctor will take about 10-15 minutes to make the incision and pull your baby out.  You’ll barely feel anything – most women feel a slight painless “tugging” sensation.
• Baby’s here.  The doctor will take roughly 45 minutes to stitch you back up.  During this time, your baby will be weighed and checked out.  They will probably put your baby on you at some point during this time, so you can hold him or her.
• Home sweet hospital.  With a c-section, you spend twice as many nights there after the delivery, as you do with a vaginal birth – usually four nights.  You may feel like you live there by the time you leave.
• Bedridden.  For the beginning of your stay at the hospital, you will stay in bed, and pee through a catheter.  After a day or two, the nurses will force you to get out of bed and use the toilet like a big girl.  Walking from the bed to the toilet could very well be the hardest thing you’ve gone through yet.  But eventually, you’ll get there.
• Recuperating at home.  For roughly two weeks, you should lift very little, and go for easy walks around the neighborhood.
• Having feelings.  The area around the incision may remain numb for months after the surgery.  Thanks to modern medicine (and the popularity of bikini bathing suits) your incision will probably be horizontal and so far down that only your partner will ever see it.

As for the complex some women get about not having a vaginal delivery – you and your baby are healthy… that’s all that matters.

Plus, your baby doesn’t come out looking all squished and wrinkly.

Life After Miscarriage: A Frustrating Existence

posted by Emily Wilkins on

This month,  we should have been buying nursery furniture. We should have been painting the bedroom, transforming it from gift wrapping room to soft, comfortable space with a crib, and a rocking chair and tiny hangers in the closet. Instead we’re wondering when, or even if, we’re going to be able to conceive again.

If I had to pick one word to sum up the past four months of my life it would be “frustration.”

• On March 22, I was frustrated that my doctor couldn’t tell me anything more hopeful than there was a 50 percent chance that I would miscarry.
• On March 29, I was frustrated that the child I dreamed about holding at Thanksgiving was gone.
• On April 8, I was frustrated because my body continued to hold on to the remains of the baby.
• On April 9, I was frustrated because the Misoprostal didn’t work and I had to take another dose.
• On April 13, I was frustrated because I was caught off-guard at work with the brunt of the miscarriage.
• On April 23, I was frustrated because it was supposed to be the end of my first trimester.
• On April 27, I was frustrated because there was still a significant amount of HCG in my blood stream.
• On May 16, I was frustrated that a month worth of days had passed and I still hadn’t had a period. (It finally arrived on June 16).
• On July 16, I was frustrated because my second cycle had not yet arrived.
• On July 20, I was frustrated because I had a negative pregnancy test but still no period.

And on July 22, I called my doctor. “Uhh. Hi Betty. It’s Emily. I’m on Cycle Day 38. I’m really frustrated. How am I supposed to conceive again if I’m not having regular periods?”

I have a doctor’s appointment in a few days.

Life After Miscarriage: Reminders In The Mail

posted by Emily Wilkins on

Some how, some way, Target found out I was pregnant. And so did Gerber Life, and American Baby Magazine, and Similac. Unfortunately, none of them got the memo that I’m not longer pregnant. My trip to the mailbox has become a daily reminder of that I should be getting ready to have a baby, not going to wine tastings and participating in adventure sports (I went whitewater kayaking a few weeks ago).

I got a huge ‘Celebrate Baby’ Target catalog today with a coupon that says “Free $20 gift card.” All I have to do is take the coupon and a printout of my registry to Guest Service at any Target store and they will give me a $20 gift card. Amazing! Oh what to do, what to do. Am I really going to pass up a $20 gift card when all I have to do is register for baby stuff?

This makes me wonder about registries. Could I start a baby registry and register for things that aren’t baby-related? What are the registry restrictions? I think at this point, I would register for the box of wine and a 500-count bottle of ibuprofen to get me through picking up the mail for the next several months. Then again, I could use the $20 gift card to buy a couple cheapie home pregnancy tests for future use.

What I really want to know is how do I get more of these catalogs with gift card offers on the back? I could create several registries under pseudonyms and rack up well over $100 in gift cards. This would take a little more work though. I’d probably have to monitor the customer service counter at Target for a few weeks to make sure I wasn’t always hitting the same guest services employee. More than one registry when I am so obviously not pregnant would probably raise a few eyebrows.

The Gerber Life Insurance Company offer isn’t nearly as much fun. The only thing I would actually get from participating in this offer is a Certificate of Welcome.  I actually have to fill out an application for my child though I don’t actually have to send any money now. There are big bold letters telling me “Send No Money!” My conscious won’t allow me to make up a name and date of birth, though it would be fun to write a prankster name like Carrie Oekey (karaoke).

Now American Baby magazine is actually very informative. I just read an article titled, “What No One Will Tell You About Being a Mom (But We Will!)” (June 2010) It scared the crap out of me. Heck, it actually made me a little happy I’m not pregnant. The article featured topics that start with “Why didn’t anyone tell me…” and end with “deafening howls can come out of such a tiny creature?” And “that no one mothers the mommy?” Or my personal favorite, “that discomfort does not end with childbirth?” Now this is the type of thing I don’t mind getting in the mail.

Hopefully you all understand that I’ve developed quite a snarky sense of humor from this experience. Oh wait. I had that before this experience.  Anyway…I suppose it’s a real sign of healing that rather than crying when I see the Target Baby catalog, my first thought is how to go about sticking it to Target and getting that $20 gift card!