It’s day 3 without caffeine. I’m getting a head start on cutting out the two cups of coffee. I’d rather have withdrawal symptoms now than when I’m pregnant.
I’ve been thinking about what I’ll do differently next time. Cutting out all caffeine is one thing. There are too many conflicting studies out there. Some say that less than 200 milligrams of caffeine is fine. Others say that any caffeine at all causes in increased risk for miscarriage. I’d rather not take any chances.
I’ve also started to take my prenatal vitamins like I was taking my birth control: religiously, not at the same time every day, and with a swig of beer occasionally.
Next time I’m pregnant, I won’t take any baths. Maybe the bath water was too hot. And I won’t go to spinning class. Maybe my heart rate was too high at one point.
Looking at this list, I should probably just start on bed rest the second I test positive. I can’t be too careful can I?
I’ll probably always wonder if I did something to cause the miscarriage. How could I not? Sure, I’ve read all the literature and I’ve heard my doctor say it too: “Most miscarriages that occur before 12 weeks are the result of a chromosomal abnormality and cannot be prevented.” Blah. Blah. Blah.
It would be so much easier to deal with if I could just pinpoint the cause. I’d know not to do “it” again and I’d feel so much better about my sense of control. It would be so much better to hear the doctor say: “Yeah. It was the coffee. Don’t do that again.” Then I would know! And I could control it. But how the heck can I control a chromosomal abnormality?
This pregnancy thing is such a crap shoot. And frankly, with what I know now, I can’t believe there are so many people in the world.