How to Name Your Baby

Wow.  You get to name a human being.  You get to give someone a label they will live with for the rest of their lives.  So how do you choose?  If you name her Stacie, will she be a cheerleader?  If you name him Albert, will he be a math genius?  You want to consider how the name will fit with the last name.  That is, if your last name is Butts, don’t name your kid Harry.  But I guess if you didn’t know that, then you’ve probably got bigger problems than just needing to pick a name.

 

You can go to the bookstore and buy Six Hundred Thousand (and one) Baby Names, or download an app on your iPhone for $3.99.  You can watch the credits of all the movies you see, check out your family tree, or think up all the kids from your first grade homeroom.  However you find names, it doesn’t help answer the question of which one to choose. 

 

Here are some important things to remember:

 

1. No fighting. If you propose Helga, and your partner thinks it’s a tad “ethnic”, don’t fight them.  This needs to be something you’re both happy with. 
2.  Give up the ghost. Your lifelong fantasy might not be that of your partners.  That is, if you’ve been dreaming your whole life of naming your daughter Petunia after your late grandmother, it doesn’t mean your partner feels the same way, and you may have to alter your dream.
3. There’s always a middle name.  And sometimes there are two.  If your husband desperately wants to name his son Pubert, perhaps you could recommend it as an option for the middle name (where no one will see it, if your boy doesn’t want them to).

 

And if all else fails, and you can’t decide on anything.  Pick one of these:

• John or Mary (the most popular names in 1890)
• Raymond or Alice (the 15^th most popular names in 1920)
• Richard or Deborah (the 7^th most popular names in 1950)
• Brian or Angela (the 12^th most popular names in 1980)
• Mustafa or Mireya (the 1000^th most popular names in 2009)